Constant Comforts
In the midst of inevitable change that comes with being alive, there are also these particular elements that seem to remain with us - like an old friend. These things can be tangible or intangible, but what these friends have in common is the ability, or maybe power is the better word, to validate, hold, and ultimately comfort our hearts in times of unease or personal growth. These are the “constants” we lean into. I’d like to introduce you to one of my constants that I’ve held onto since 1996. Before Adele and others like her, there was a singer-songwriter named Fiona Apple.
You may or may not have heard of Fiona. She released 5 albums between 1996 and 2020, and her music remains, in my opinion, incomparable. A singer-songwriter trained as a classical pianist, whose powerful husky voice and lyrics punched a hole through my soul. I found her when I needed her the most, or maybe she found me.
Fiona Apple was my Taylor Swift.
I completely get the energy surrounding Ms. Swift, as I still feel that same energy whenever I listen to one of Fiona’s songs. I first heard the song, Shadowboxer, from Fiona’s debut album, Tidal (aptly named) on the radio, and practically ran out and bought the CD. I connected all too well with that haunting debut single. I listened to her first album all the way through with tears, relating to the emotions and experiences assigned to her gorgeous melodies (I could listen to her command of the ivory and ebony keys for hours). It felt like this woman, a decade younger than me, had been living inside my head. I later learned about her experiences regarding personal tragedy and difficult professional history within the music industry, and felt so much empathy and love for her. For me, no one sang about love, pain, matters of the heart and self-discovery, quite like Fiona. Unapologetic, bold, a badass; at other times, soft, gentle, yet always strong with full agency of self.
Just take a listen here -
I still get teary every time.
Constants are always there for us, like a warm blanket or a cup of hot cocoa in the middle of winter. And they literally can be anything.
I have a houseplant. I don’t remember the actual year when it joined my home, but it has to be between 25-35 years old. I thought I’d lost it last summer when it hung its leaves so much that I knew it was sick. I repotted it, but was prepared to say goodbye, as it didn’t seem to be coming back to life. I removed the leaves and roots that appeared the sickest, in hopes the healthiest parts of the plant would get the much-needed nutrients in the fresh soil, then waa-lah…it began growing again.
This plant has been with me thru 2 marriages (and 2 divorces), the birth of my 2 sons, and has accompanied me on several adventurous relocations.
What a trouper!
As a preteen, I discovered the mysteries of Nancy Drew, girl detective. I was a voracious reader and immersed myself in Nancy’s world, eagerly awaiting the next book in the series to find out where she and her friends, Bess and George, would be going next, as I became an avid member of her monthly book club. With the exception of one or two, I’ve collected the whole series, and they’re sitting in my bookcase, along with other childhood and young adulthood books.
Nancy was always there for me when I needed to escape into an imaginary world to lose myself, or to do so just for fun and relaxation. It’s not unusual to find me pulling out one and rereading it for the upteenth time.
It gives me comfort.
My point with all this is to encourage you to connect with your constants, whenever you need to. If you’re someone who’s struggling to identify any, or feel unmotivated or discouraged by life at the moment, look out your window at the world outside…go to a natural place…sit under a tree…feel the Earth.
That is your constant.
She’s always there for us, even though we haven’t been treating her very well lately. She still loves us, forgives us, and holds us up.
Smell nature’s perfume, touch the grass, gaze at the mountains, feel the water between your fingers, in your mouth as you swallow. Breathe in the life-sustaining air.
Be comforted.
Her eye looking over me.
Whether your constant is tangible - a holy book or nostalgic fiction, or intangible - an experience of “awe”-wonder, beauty, mystery… let it in.
I’d love to hear what your constants are, please drop me a line!
Today, Fiona Apple is still rocking and touring; she’s played with Bob Dylan; she fights for social justice, most recently for mothers in the legal system separated from their children; and she regularly reads parenting books, even though she’s childless by choice. Why? She says just because she wants to be a better parent to her inner child, recognizing she’s both parts. Brilliant.
And I still belt out tunes right along beside her (in the comfort of my car). My current song of choice is below that always makes me beam- enjoy this 2006 blast from the past.
Til next we meet in the forest…
Love,
Amanda ❤️
